Moments of Vulnerability

I’m an optimist, that’s something I probably don’t ever want to change about myself. Personally, it’s my optimism and endless amount of hope that keeps me sane. But with any positive trait there’s a few things to counteract it, for me it’s self doubt. I’d say my cynicism but that’s more a trait to bring me down to earth every now and again with reality. Can you be a cynical optimist? No idea, but if you can, I’m a prime example of one.

Anyhow back to the self doubt, there was a reason I wanted to deactivate my social media. The reason being that in human nature, we tend to compare ourselves to others and scrutinize where we are in comparison. It isn’t to say I’m not happy for those who achieve greatness because I really am happy for them. However, I start to wonder, when will it be my turn to get to where they are?

I know when I’m partaking in that behavior, the hard part is fighting the feeling. If I don’t fight the feeling, I’ll end up feeling horribly about where I am currently. The only way I overcome these feelings is reminding myself that everyone follows a different time frame in their life. And that when the time is right, everything will fall into place.

For now, I just have to step back and breathe to regain my train of thought in those moments.