Breathe

Every now and then, I have to remind myself from time to time, to breathe.

I seem to forget and that I need a break from people.I need to have that getaway from people. Where I can just simply be left alone to figure my own stuff out. But that’s not realistic.

I wish there were easier ways to deal with my mind at times. Overwhelmed with millions of thoughts/hypothetical problems that I have no answers to. I know that every situation you’re put in, teaches you something but goodness I want to take a break.

A break from my thoughts, a break from worldly expectations, a break from people. Just a time where I can collect myself and not feel like I’m not being rushed. That time isn’t against me and it’s with me. It gets so tiresome especially when you’re looking out for other people and not yourself.

Sometimes I wish I had it in me to tell people to piss off kindly. But I don’t. At times I have self loathing phases for that reason alone. Thats the problem with being a “nice/good girl.” It’s the whole feeling guilty about things you shouldn’t feel guilty about.

I need a break.

To just disappear for a while and figure things out. What I want from life, what I need to remove from my life and how I intend on moving forward. Once I have that figured out to some extent or another, I’ll be content.

I usually don’t write posts where I express my need to escape but it’s a common thought of mine. I’m an escapist but I already knew that. I’m the kind of person who wants to avoid anything unpleasant in life but I also know it’s unhealthy too. That’s part of the escapist struggle, is trying to find a way to deal with the unpleasantries of life. And boy is it hard. I guess my way of dealing with things, is through writing, which is why I’m here.

You know what else I hate? The extreme highs and lows of happiness and sorrow, but I’ll leave that for another post;).