Overwhelmed

I tend to overwhelm myself emotionally from time to time. It isn’t that I don’t want to live an emotionally exuberant life. It’s just that whenever I do want to experience everything, it gets a bit frustrating for me to handle. That’s natural though isn’t it?  The thing about wanting to experience everything is that I become overwhelmed. It’s easy to experience life when you can step away from something and observe it objectively. The harder task is to actually involve yourself emotionally and immerse yourself in it. I have no idea what I’m going on about with this post but here I am writing it.

I’ve been attempting to adapt the whole “let yourself feel” mentality. That’s something that’s hard for me to do considering that I’m the queen of running away from negativity. I’m the kind of person who believes in not letting anyone see your bad side. The kind of person who always tries to remain positive all the time no matter what.

And truthfully it’s far easier to pretend everything is okay instead of looking back and saying, “wow, everything is not okay.”

Pretending to be optimistic all the time is something that’s a kind of a high. (Yet again referencing that wonderful book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”.) Truth is I’m acknowledging that I’m hiding behind these positive emotions as a coping mechanism. Albeit an unhealthy mechanism because I know I’m running away from acknowledging that there is a problem.

(Also thank you, thank you, thank you Yoast for your readability analysis. I know I struggle with using passive voice in my writing and this plug-in has worked wonders for me!)

Anyhow, back to the topic at hand. I’m trying hard to immerse myself in feeling upset or any negative emotion because I shouldn’t be ashamed of feeling. The reason why I want to be able to not run away from these emotions is because I want to find the cause of it. Negative emotions are there for a reason, to let you know there is something that isn’t right. That change needs to be implemented. Obviously, we can’t control our external environments but we can try our best to learn to find the root of these emotions and whether or not they’re going to bring positive change. Positive emotions are an outcome of overcoming events. They’re rewards for our behavioral changes and whatnot.

I need to take some time away, reevaluate what’s working and what’s not. If something isn’t working, then I need to figure out what should be done. That is after all the whole purpose of self-care and self-help. I also need to remember that my problems aren’t unique or the end of the world, because problems come and go. That’s also why it’s sometimes healthier to just take a step back and breathe.