If there’s something I need sometimes, it’s space and time.
I think some people equate me being an extrovert for me wanting to be around people all the time but that’s far from the truth. I’m someone who will eventually come to terms with things just give me two things and I swear I’ll be golden. Those two things would be space and time.
I don’t hate anyone, I just feel like I get exhausted dealing with everything that I need time to recuperate and figure out everything and put it in perspective. If someone were to force me to do anything, I would almost always do one thing and that is to simply not listen and do whatever the fuck I want. And honestly, I know how stubborn I can be sometimes. It’s not something I’m necessarily proud of but I know my own tendencies in my own personality.
That’s why if I disappear, it’s not you, it’s definitely me because I know that if I talk to someone when I’m in a sour mood I will almost definitely react in a volatile manner. However, if you give me time to just evaluate everything, I swear I will talk to you and we will be good friends. This case applies to all of my close friends, they understand that I won’t always respond but believe me if there’s an emergency or if they ever need a shoulder to lean on, I will always be there. I’ll be there for my friends if they need me because I care about them a lot.
I can’t speak for anyone but myself but give me space and time, and I will talk to you. Understand that I cannot simply be tending to everyone ALL the time because I do have other things to do and deal with.
I’ve been meaning to write this post for quite a while. For some reason, it’s difficult for most to believe that a woman wants to be single. Personally, I hate the dating landscape because it seems forced. We all tend to only put our best foot forward not knowing what will commence afterwards. But that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. I enjoy being single because I don’t need a relationship to validate my self worth, I don’t think I necessarily need anyone to make me happy.
That’s also why I don’t get why some people jump from relationship to relationship but to each their own. If I were to get into a relationship, my significant other would they’re an addition to my life rather than someone I absolutely cannot live without. I feel like I’m a complete person on my own with or without someone by my side. I have enough fulfilling relationships (aka family and friends) in my life. If I were to date someone, they would just be an extension of my friends except with romance. That’s also why I prefer romances that bud out of friendship.
When women say they’re not looking for a relationship, some people think, “oh let me try harder, maybe they’ll end up liking me through persistence.” To which I STRONGLY disagree with because NO ONE can force a relationship or feelings of any sort. No matter how much someone may cry, pout or throw tantrums NOTHING is going to come out of it besides eventually getting annoyed with the person.
I will agree that when women say they’re not looking for a relationship they mean one of two things: a) they’re not interested in you OR b) they REALLY don’t want to be in a relationship. (However, for the most part I think about 95% of the time, it’s definitely option 1, that we’re not interested.) If a woman does end up in a relationship, do not take it out on her saying that she led you on. When in reality she didn’t give any hint of her being interested. The issue with her directly telling a guy that she’s not interested is that sometimes a guy will end up taking it as a “let me try harder, maybe she’ll like me” or react in a volatile fashion.
While this can apply to both genders, this does happen with women more commonly.
I am certain that no one would appreciate it if someone was trying to force them into a relationship they don’t want to be in.
And THAT is why I wrote this post.
I haven’t updated this blog for a few days. I started my 30 day challenge on the day of the blizzard! This blizzard was one to remember as we haven’t had a storm as bad since 1996 but it’s actually the second biggest storm in New York City after the storm of 1886 I believe. I’m not sure but it was some time in the 1800s. NYC got about like 26 + inches, which being as short as I am took up most of my tiny legs. I did however do something new which was make a snowman! I named him Bob because I just like naming things Bob as that name is so underused at least from my knowledge. (Photos below the cut!)
Usually I try not to get too personal in my online writings but today I’ve decided to get personal.
As someone who struggles with finding balance in my life, I’ve struggled with either not caring about something or caring too much.
I can’t say that it isn’t a good quality when it comes to actually getting work done because when I’m determined to get stuff done I will get it done.
However, when it comes to caring too much about people, that’s a different story as no one can force someone to feel any kind of way. When I turn to the realm of feelings, I get consumed in them to the point of obsession, for a lack of wording. This intensity can play out in many ways: it can scare someone or it can bring them closer. With extremes of intensity anyone can get extreme responses. While everything in moderation is something that I should practice. It’s hard when it’s something that I’ve done my whole life. Old habits die hard.
I’m hoping to bring some change about in my life but I know hoping alone won’t bring any change.
Whenever I tend to get emotionally involved with people, I usually end up mentally exhausting myself. I put myself all in and expect the same response from people back. Unfortunately, I’ve learned with life or people in general is that the world doesn’t work that way. We have to make people earn certain behavioral traits such as trust or even kindness in some ways. One cannot just give trust so openly to others as it makes them vulnerable to others. It’s naive to think that just because one treats people kindly or “nicely” that others will treat that person in the same respect. I learned that the hard way. The same goes with love, one simply can’t give all their love to someone without them earning that love in some regard.
If we make people work for those things, in some regard they value it more because they worked for it. It’s something that I’ve actually come to terms with now. All of this comes to the topic of what I believe is the “art of letting go,” by that I don’t mean letting people go. However letting go of expectations from people and focusing on who is worth focusing attention on. Better yet it’s focusing on myself. I have to learn how to put myself first then deciding who is worthy of that attention or care.
Invested time wisely has a great payoff but wasted time is worse than losing money since there’s no way anyone can get time back.
Video Blog #2!!! I’m just uploading my videos first & then soon enough I’ll put up some writing of mine too!
Well for the first post I’m going to put up my video blogs and then I shall start updating more often! 🙂